What to expect when you …….


SHOP IN A TURBAN


All of us have dreaded going to one of the Super Centers. The shopping and finding of items is stressful enough. But, the checkout lines are something only best described by Stephen King. No matter how much I study and walk about and try, I always seem to find the one line where there is a poor new employee that they have given a 15-minute overview of the process and then left on their own.

When I put an item in the basket, I always try to make sure it has it's price tag. On top of everything else, please don't make me endure a price check! But, somehow, during my shopping, the price tag fairy reaches into the basket from the bottom and swipes a tag or two.

Planning on writing a check? "Check Approval Please" goes out over the intercom. Apparently, the special person who can do this is off discussing the problems of the world somewhere. Planning on using a debit card? "Sorry, the machine is temporarily out of service". So, plan on using cash? Seems like a simple method. But, lo and behold, the biggest baddest super center with thousands of people in line and paying cash, doesn't have enough to break your $50.00 or $100.00. Apparently that money drops right through the bottom of that cash register.

I have done some research in the last few months and have come up with a way to get your through those lines a whole lot faster. Going through chemo, hair loss was one of the first things I had to learn to live with. I purchased an appropriate wig. But, there are just days when putting that thing on is more than I was up to. So, I have purchased very nice, decorative little turbans.

Of course, most chemo patients really have no business out shopping in a super center. But, then, I've never been very conventional. So, I don my little turban and go shopping. Of course, I tire sooner and by the time I get to the line to checkout, I'm feeling a little bit weak, the top of my head is sweating so much, sweat running down my face. That is the point at which I realize I should have listened to my doctor and my mother and stayed at home. But, no more than I purchased, surely I can get through the line fairly quickly.

I had already noticed in going up and down the aisles of the store, the looks and then downward-turned eyes as people passed me. But, I have to tell you, the reaction at the checkout lane was, if it had not been such a shock, pretty comical. There were only three lanes open and lots of people waiting. But, once I chose my line, the person in front of me finished checking out. But, rather than line up behind me, people chose to line up two and three back in the other lines. It was as if they had put up that chain behind me closing up the lane for lunch. I watched as people started to get behind me, but then that "look". I realize that my coloring was not peaches and cream and I am sure the circles under my eyes were apparent. But, I had gone shopping before in that condition. What could be the cause? Ahhhh - the eyes go to the turban.

I could understand if there were small children involved and to avoid questions about the woman with no hair, another line would be good. But, grown adults? 

I am the type of person who always tries to stand in the other's shoes to understand what they are feeling. Cancer is such a scary thing that even grown people would rather not face it, think about it. I understand that. I have been there myself.

So, what can I learn from this experience? I spent the entire trip home and much time afterward thinking back. Have I ever reacted to a bald cancer patient in that way? I could not specifically remember such an incident. But, knowing my brain was sluggish from chemo (chemo brain) and not wanting to take any chances, I immediately prayed for forgiveness for anytime I might have done so. Never would I deliberately hurt someone's feelings. And for the most part, other people would not either. It occurred to me how we react to things and people without realizing our reaction and its effect.

I also prayed for the ability to walk through this world and not react without sensitivity to anyone - no matter the physical, emotional, or mental disability, color of skin, age or whatever. I truly hope that I never cause a person to feel as I felt standing in that line.

Walking a mile in another's shoes is something I seem to get a lot of opportunity to do. But, I am thankful for it so I can begin to see things in a different way.

Now, to end in a humorous way, as I stood there, weakened, hot, and now very self-conscious of my state, I decided that the best way to get the entire store to myself, would have been to pull the turban off!

Thank you Lord for this experience!


Connie O. Hughes
November 16, 1999